


Habit and I Can't Let Go

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: Twelve Days of Ficmas [7]
Category: Hanson (Band), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bars and Pubs, Birthday, Birthday Sex, Breakfast, Conversations, Daryl Dixon Smut, Erotica, Ex Sex, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Kissing, M/M, Morning After, Motorcycles, Older Man/Younger Woman, Sexual Content, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: It's Daryl's birthday and while Avery doesn't want to attend she is drug there by her brother Zac. But maybe in the end the decision to go wasn't so bad after all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> day 7 of my 12 days of ficmas
> 
> This is a sequel to a one-shot I posted back in March. It was called No Getting Back To Good

Avery smiled softly as she sat at Lucky's bar in the usual booth. A place she had been coming too every Friday night since coming back to Georgia a year ago. It was also a place that before even coming back had special memories for her as it was the bar where she and Daryl would sneak around too when they first started dating when she was seventeen.

Though she didn't like to think about that often because it pained her to know she had messed things up so bad between them by leaving when she had been twenty and doing so in a letter. He had deserved better and she knew that.

It was why she didn't blame him for hating her now or avoiding her as often as he could. Their first meeting after all since she had been back hadn't been well. In the parking lot of Zac's garage and him accusing her of throwing him away while also admitting he had bought her a ring.

The ring bit she still couldn't forget even a year after that conversation. Just like she also couldn't forget that he was in an on and off relationship with a woman named Jessie Anderson. Jessie from what she had been told was married to an abusive prick so of course Avery saw the appeal because Daryl was drawn to broken things....broken people.

But Jessie was no longer married anymore and she was in the process of getting divorced and from what Avery knew from her mutually shared friend circle with Daryl, his and Jessie's relationship was more on now than off.

So in the end Avery figured if he was going to settle down again it'd be with Jessie and that thought made her frown because a tiny part of her wanted to be that person still. Even if she had blew it.

"Earth to Avery," Jesus whispered as he leaned into her and Avery came out of her daze to stare at her brother Zac's fiancee. "Is everything okay? You sorta went off on me and I swear you've been doing that a lot tonight. Is it because it's a certain person's birthday today?" he asked and of course Jesus knew it was Daryl's birthday.

That was why they were all here on a Saturday instead of their usual Friday or well Avery hadn't been invited so she probably shouldn't have been here but Zac had, had her helping him today with running errands since he knew she was off from her job at a local counseling center, helping damaged kids through art therapy.

Zac had made up some excuse about how if he had to drop her off he'd be late to the party once he showered and cleaned up. So he had whined about her just going with and she had probably against her better judgement gave in. Which allowed him to drive to the apartment he shared with Jesus and shower and still make it to the party on time.

Though thankfully for her Jesus had sensed Avery's discomfort and agreed to sit with her in a booth off to the corner so she wouldn't really intrude on a party she wasn't invited too or welcome at.

"Not really off that it's Daryl's forty-eighth birthday," Avery spoke not afraid to mention Daryl. "Just I guess being here and knowing I'm not wanted makes me uncomfortable and I could kill Zac," she muttered as she forced a laugh. "And it kind of hurts seeing that," she said as she looked towards the dance floor where Daryl was dancing awfully close to some blonde woman who Avery was pretty sure was Jessie.

Jesus nodded his head, "Well don't kill Zac at least not until after we marry in March," he teased her as his impossibly greenish blue eyes sparkled some and Avery wished she had that much happiness eventually. "But I get why seeing him with Jessie hurts. You still love him and you never got closure. I mean I'm guessing you never did. I'm not positive on the details of all that went down. I just know he talked about you a lot when he was drunk," he sighed and at least Avery knew the last bit.

Both Jesus and Eric had told her as much in the span of one day.

"Bet you're glad he doesn't do that anymore though right?" Avery teased him. "Especially since you know me now and that would get boring constantly hearing about the woman you know in real life from her ex who hates her."

Jesus looked at Avery half amused, "Whose said it stopped?" he asked her curiously. "Pretty sure he talked my ear off about you last Friday when he was drunk."

Avery just eyed Jesus after that, half wondering if he was lying or being honest and in the end she couldn't figure out why he'd lie to her. "You better not being lying to me Paul Rovia?" she asked as she used Paul's real name.

"Would I ever lie about that Avery Laurel Hanson?" Jesus asked as he picked up his beer bottle and took a drink from it. "I wouldn't and I'm not and I think that's partly why Zac brought you here because in his brain he thinks he can play cupid. Even though he knew Jessie would be here," he shrugged before shaking his head. "But anyway I'm going to get another beer. Do you want one?" he asked and Avery nodded her head.

"Only one more. I don't need to be too hungover since I promised my mom I'd go to church with her in the morning," she sighed not even sure why she did. It wasn't like she was overly religious or even really believed in a God.

But Avery did like making her mom happy.

Jesus nodded his head before turning to leave and get their drinks and after he left, Avery chanced one more look at the dance floor. Taking a bit of a sigh of relief that Daryl and Jessie weren't out there anymore.

Shaking her head she reached for her phone, deciding to use it to pass her time until Jesus came back.

It was only when she heard the chair across from her, the one Jesus had been sitting in move that she looked up. Expecting to find Jesus on the other side but instead she found herself face to face with Daryl and she nearly dropped the phone in her hand. Nearly but luckily she didn't and was able to lay it down on the table top.

Which as she did so she noticed two beer bottles in his hand, one of which he put in front of her before taking a swig of his own.

"You still have shit taste in beer," he finally spoke and Avery almost wanted to laugh that the first words out of his mouth were to criticize her taste in beer. Something he had done when they were together even if back then she had been an under aged drinker with a really convincing fake id.

"Why thank you Daryl, nice to know my taste in beer will never meet your approval," Avery replied back in which Daryl rolled his eyes. "You run into Jesus or something because he was the one who was supposed to get my drink?" she asked almost afraid for when he'd start berating her and reminding her of how much he really didn't want to see her anymore.

Daryl snorted some at her words and Avery was sure her eyes had to be deceiving her because she thought she saw a smirk on his face. "I may have. Was on my way here anyway," he told her and Avery felt her heartbeat slow down enough that she thought it was going to stop beating.

"To tell me to leave because you don't want to see me again?" Avery asked with an arched eyebrow. "I mean that's how it always goes when we do accidentally have run ins now."

"No," Daryl said with a shake of his head, surprising Avery. "You being here did make Jessie mad though and took me by surprise since I didn't invite you. But your dear old brother explained himself."

Avery laughed some at his words about Zac, still in shock that he hadn't came here to tell her that he didn't want to see her again and that she should leave.

"I'm sorry I made her mad but like you said it's all Zac's fault," she nodded her head with a tiny smile as she took a drink of her beer. If not to wet her throat which was suddenly feeling dry. "Is that why she stopped dancing with you?" she asked without even meaning too because asking that meant admitting that she had been watching him.

Which probably on some levels made her pathetic and maybe a bit creepy in Daryl's eyes.

Though Daryl only smirked at her words, "She stopped because she had to leave. She has a shift in the morning at the diner where she works," he answered her before taking another drink of his beer. This one much longer than the last. "But I knew I felt you staring at us," he spoke before smirking more and Avery had to move in her seat thanks to the shiver that went down her back from his smirking and just being in his presence again without arguing.

It was almost like old times and he was just so fucking attractive tonight. Though Avery was sure he was attractive every night but tonight there was just something else there. Something that was clearly getting to her despite her knowing it shouldn't.

"Guilty as charged," Avery said as she held up her hands slightly. "But you never did tell me why you were here Daryl," she stated wondering if he'd tell her now. "I mean if it wasn't to run me off and remind me that you hate me then I'd like to know why you're here talking to me."

Again Daryl took a long swig from his beer bottle and Avery got the feeling he was using that as a distraction. To keep himself from speaking right away.

"I'm here because I just wanted to talk," Daryl finally answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "Is that so bad?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow. "I mean can't we try to be friends Avery?" he questioned her again and the last one shocked her.

Knowing that he was even considering wanting to be friends. Something which Avery wasn't sure they could fully be. Not when she clearly had unresolved feelings for him.

"Can we?" Avery asked not answering his question right away. "Honestly can you just be my friend?" she asked him curiously. Almost wanting to say she couldn't be his because she still had feelings for him but instead she bit her tongue.

"I don't love you anymore, so yes I think we could still be friends," Daryl answered with a nod of his head and at his words Avery felt like she had been punched in the gut hard.

Looking away from him, she had to blink several times to stop the tears that wanted to come out from coming out. Almost wishing she could stop her feelings from being hurt.

"I'm not sure I can just be your friend," Avery told him as she looked at him again finally. "Not when I do still love you," she admitted knowing there was no use in lying to him right now. "I love you and I couldn't be your friend and pretend that I feel nothing or pretend that it doesn't kill me a little bit inside when I see you with Jessie. I know I fucked up in leaving you like I did. Maybe I should have asked you to come with me or maybe we could have tried long distance but whatever it is we didn't do I know that's my fault and I'm sorry for that," she sighed as she looked away from him again and this time she couldn't stop her tears.

Not even blinking had worked this time. "So no, I can't be your friend when I regret the choices that I made and wish that I still had you," she nodded sadly before standing from her chair and without even letting Daryl speak, she picked up her cell phone and headed towards the bathrooms because she was a crying mess and she really didn't want to cry in a bar.

It wasn't the best of situations and clearly if she had to cry somewhere a bar bathroom would be one step up from the main bar. It had to be.

***

After awhile of just sitting in the bathroom stall, Avery heard her cell phone ring and when she reached for it, seeing a number she didn't recognize she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and answer it anyway.

Hitting talk she didn't even have a chance to speak before the person calling her spoke.

"Come home with me tonight," Daryl spoke and his words were enough to make her pause because clearly she had to have misheard him.

Just like this whole phone conversation had to have been some weird dream made up by her brain.

"How did you get my number?" Avery asked as she stood up slowly from the floor and wiped at the end of the dress that she had on.

Hearing Daryl sigh audibly, Avery could only imagine him doing an eye roll too.

"Your brother," he answered her and of course Avery should have known. "I asked him for it before he and Jesus left. So please come home with me. I'm outside by my bike," he stated before hanging up on her.

Moving the cellphone away from her ear, Avery only sighed because really it seemed like she had no choice but to either go home with him or get an Uber.

Shaking her head she left the bathroom stall as well as the bathroom before quickly heading outside where she did indeed find Daryl, standing by his motorcycle and smoking a cigarette.

Her purse was laying at his feet and she knew either Zac or Jesus had given it to him because she had left it lying on the booth when she had ran off into the bathroom.

"You're not really giving me much of a choice on going home with you," Avery told him as she bent down to get her purse which she slipped around her shoulder after putting her cell phone inside. "It's either a free ride to your place or paying for an Uber."

Daryl smirked some as he finished his cigarette before leaning closer to her. Close enough that she could faintly smell the cigarette smoke and alcohol on him. "I just know how to make the odds work in my favor by letting your driver leave without you," he said clearly talking about Zac. "But I mean if you're objecting you're free to pay to get a ride to your place," he said as he stayed close to her and just the closeness of him made her shiver.

"I'll go but I don't know why you want me there," Avery told him as they locked eyes and the breath was clearly taken right out of her as all she saw in them was an animalistic lust that she hadn't seen in so long. Six years at best.

"I think you know exactly why I want you there," Daryl nodded his head before finally moving away and moving to get the helmets on his bike.

Taking one from him when he offered it to her, Avery put it on wordlessly as she watched him put his on before getting on the bike and starting it up and she soon climbed on behind him. Her arms going around his waist tightly before he pulled out of the parking space and sped off towards the house he now lived in.

Closing her eyes as she held onto him Avery let her mind wander to his words about her knowing why he wanted her there and she felt her stomach doing somersaults because she had a suspicion but there was no way he meant that. No way at all.

Not if he didn't love her anymore because Daryl didn't have meaningless sex. Not usually anyway and he knew she didn't. Especially not after her rape when she was fifteen.

Sex for her had to have a meaning and she had to feel somewhat safe. There was no way Daryl would just carelessly use her.

***

When they made it to his house, Avery got off the back of the bike once he had parked. Taking the helmet off as she put it back in the spot he used for his helmets and after she had done so, she stopped to look at his house.

A place she had never even sat foot in or even been too because he had bought it after they had broken up. After she had left him to go to New York and pursue her dreams.

"Bought it in October of 2015. Got tired of living in that shitty ass trailer," Daryl spoke after he had taken off his own helmet and put it up. "May have also wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and I wasn't just a piece of trash that could be thrown away," he stated as he looked at her and Avery looked down remembering the first conversation they had when she came back where he had accused her of doing that.

"I didn't do that," Avery sighed as she shook her head and looked back up at him. "I just wanted to pursue my dreams and I knew if I stayed with you that I wouldn't have even left Georgia to do half of what I wanted to do. Go to a good school and like I said at the bar earlier how I left you was shitty and I'm sorry. I was twenty and I was stupid and didn't consider all of the possibilities until after."

After she finished speaking a silence fell over both of them and it made her a bit nervous. Almost afraid that they'd start to argue again.

But finally Daryl heaved a sigh, "Yeah well you did what you did and I felt how I felt," he nodded as he looked at her and Avery hated how sad he looked. "Might as well stop wondering about the what ifs," he said with a shake of his head before turning to walk away and Avery followed after him, staying silent as he lead the way to the front door of his house.

Where once there he unlocked it and turned the light on as they slipped inside and Avery was surprised at how nice the place looked inside. Better than the trailer he had lived in with Merle.

"It's a nice place," Avery spoke as she turned to face him after he had shut the door. "You did well for yourself."

Daryl blushed at Avery's praises and Avery couldn't help but smirk. A smirk that only grew when Daryl moved to stand directly in front of her.

"Why'd you invite me here?" she asked again softly as they locked eyes and even though she had asked that question, she knew in her gut the exact reason why she was there.

Rolling his eyes, Daryl didn't verbally respond to her. Instead he leaned in and kissed her soft at first but when she responded back he got a bit rougher. Pushing her against the nearest wall he could find.

The literal closeness of him making her feel things she hadn't felt in so long. Things she had missed because of course they were stuff only he could do to her.

Moaning out softly as she felt his hand sliding up the hem of the sundress that she had on, Avery had to pull away and she just looked at him as his hand finally reached it's destination. Going inside of her panties where she was already wet.

A fact that made him smirk again, "Already?" he questioned her as he began to rub her softly. Making her moan out again.

"Yes already," Avery was able to speak as her hips began to buck against his hand. "Since I saw you standing by your bike," she admitted as she blushed. "You just looked so fucking good and I wanted you."

Daryl's smirk seemed to grow at her words as he rubbed her faster now, one of his fingers slowly teasing her slit and getting her even more worked up. Something she felt like he wanted from her.

To have her wet and turned on before he did something to tease her. But she had always gotten a thrill from his teasing.

Reaching out Avery pulled Daryl in for another kiss. A kiss that was rough and hot at the same time and one in which they both undressed each other in record time. Avery only letting out a tiny whimper as he removed his hand away from her but one that died after he had began to take her dress off.

Once they were both naked, Avery who was still against the wall, bit down on his bottom lip as Daryl's arms found their way around her waist and he slowly began to pick her up. A fact she helped him out with by moving her arms across his neck as well as wrapping her legs around his waist as he walked them down the hall to where she assumed his room was.

Her kisses becoming a bit slower as he carried her down to his room because Avery knew what they were about to do and she was still hoping that he indeed wasn't using her. That this wasn't going to be meaningless sex for him.

Some way for him to get his dick wet since Jessie wasn't available to help him with that.

When they did make it to his bedroom, Avery held onto Daryl a bit tighter as he laid her down, finding a way to position himself between her legs. Directly at her entrance.

Though before he entered her, he pulled away to look down at her. A silent question in his eyes, asking her if she was sure she wanted this. If she was ready.

Avery gave him a tiny head nod and it wasn't long after that, that she felt him finally thrust into her and they both moaned out at that. Avery's eyes involuntarily falling shut briefly because of how good it felt to have him inside of her again.

Almost like he was coming home which was a weird way of putting things but it was true. It was also true that it was the first time she had felt truly complete since leaving him six years ago.

Opening her eyes as he began to thrust in and out of her slowly Avery looked up at him with a smile on her face. A smile he returned before leaning into kiss her on the lips.

Kissing him back she began to move with him slowly, her nails digging into the skin on his back softly. Careful to avoid his scars, scars that she still knew where each and everyone was because she had mapped them out with kisses before.

On nights when she had wanted him to know how much she cared and that she had loved him regardless of how he looked or who he was. Which was why she hated that he thought she had just thrown him away.

"I love you," Avery muttered out as she broke the kiss. Not even thinking before she spoke. "I love you so much Daryl,"she whispered out as he started to move a bit faster inside of her.

"I love you too," Daryl muttered out as his lips fell to her neck. "Love you and I've missed you," he sighed against her skin. Creating goosebumps after the fact.

Avery only smiled softly when Daryl had told her he loved her and that he had missed her. The love part being something she was almost afraid he wouldn't say again to her but he had.

Closing her eyes again though, Avery's head fell back farther into his pillows as her orgasm approached and when it finally hit she moaned out his name finally. Feeling him still his movements inside of her and she knew from the way his cock had twitched inside of her that he had came.

That and she could feel some of his come going down her legs already.

After they had both reached their end, Avery though just held Daryl. Not wanting to move and it seemed like he was content not to move either. Staying inside of her for as long as he could.

***

Waking the next morning Avery slowly opened her eyes as the sun filtered in through Daryl's windows as well as the smell of food filtering into the room and she slowly sat up in his bed. Pulling a sheet around her naked chest as she looked at the clock.

Seeing it was already eleven in the morning she grimaced knowing there was no way she was going to be able to go to church with her mom. But well at least she knew it wasn't because she was hungover. It was because of last night and being with Daryl.

Having made love to him not once but twice because after the first time they had both fallen asleep but then they had woken up two to three hours later and had once again wound up making love and Avery swore the second time had probably been better than the first time.

Unable to contain her smile, she slipped out of his bed. Walking to his dressers where she rummaged through the drawers until she found a pair of his boxers as well as a t-shirt. Putting both on before padding down to the kitchen, where she found Daryl standing over a stove.

Though when he heard her get closer he turned to look at her, giving her a sheepish smile. "I would have woke you but you seemed so peaceful."

"It's fine," Avery said as she shook her head, walking to stand beside him. "It was nice sleeping in," she nodded as she watched him fixing some eggs. "You didn't have to fix breakfast though"

"I wanted too," Daryl told her without even turning to look at her. "Think you made me work up an appetite last night," he teased her as he moved a bit closer. Close enough to kiss her briefly on the lips. "Been so long since I was able too twice in one night."

Blushing Avery looked down at his confession, "So what you're saying is that I have that magic touch?"

"Something like that," Daryl laughed softly. "You also look really sexy in my clothes," he said and Avery blushed even more.

"Maybe I'll wear them more often than," Avery stated as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Unsure if he would even want to again.

Mainly because she had no clue if he'd end things with Jessie or even exactly where things stood with them even after two rounds of sex.

"I'd love it if you did," Daryl told her, bringing out of her thoughts and at least she knew that whatever last night meant he wanted to keep doing it.

Wanted to continue having sex with her.


End file.
